Ups and Downs

You ever heard the song Ups and Downs by Snoop Dogg? The chorus goes:

There will be,
Ups and downs,
Smiles and frowns!
Share with me,
Fairy tales and make believe!

As I’m writing I’m listening this very song and thinking how applicable this is. Essentially, when you make relationships, you are asking someone to do this with you. Whether the relationship is platonic or romantic, you’re asking someone to be there through the ups and downs, and (hopefully) offering to be there throughout their ups and downs.

What I have come to realize is, some people are ready willing and able to go through some of the trenches with you. That might be ok for you, whatever floats your boat. Some people will be the reason for the ups and that is absolutely amazing. It’s the ones that create the downs. For some odd reason, those people are the hardest to get rid of. Maybe, you don’t want to fault them for your situation. But at some point you have to realize that some of what you’re going through isn’t just the hand you were dealt. It’s ok to say, “So and so put me in this situation.” If that’s actually the case.

You don’t need a person in your life that is only there when they need you. They only reach out when they need you, not bringing much to the table, or reciprocation. People often treat other people as things instead of people. A lot of people treat people in their lives as if they can easily be replaced and that’s simply unfair and untrue. However, once you come to the realization that someone is only there for their downs, and bringing you to downs, you don’t need to replace them, you just get rid of them.

What I’ve learned from people is that a toxic relationship is not only bad for you mentally, but also physically. You’re drained, your heart spends a lot of time hurt. You know it, because you feel it. There is absolutely no reason to have to feel that way. Nothing you can say to me will justify anyone being hurt in such a way. I’m not going to say you just have to learn how to deal, because that is purely shitty advice. Cut them off! They aren’t hurting, so why should you? What makes it ok for you to be the only one with your feelings hurt? Their feeling supposed to be more important than yours?! No!

I’m coming to realize that just because you’re there for a person doesn’t mean they will be there for you. You can move heaven and earth for someone in your life, doesn’t mean they will for you. And that’s cool. Because I will make you live your life without me. As of today, I’m not putting up with it and you should t either. Give it a shot! You’ll love yourself more because of it.